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I did my first wedding on February 28 (not the pictures from above) and it was an intimate, beautiful ceremony. It reminded me how much emphasis is put on the planning and not the actual marriage.
Don't get me wrong. Weddings are fun to plan and even more fun to attend (especially when there are lots of personal touches), but after the cake is eaten, flowers wilt, and presents are opened, the couple is left with their consecrated marriage. And it's for better -- or for worse.
I'm helping my soon-to-be sister-in-law plan her wedding which should happen in 2010 and there have been a lot of questions about what SHOULD be done. I keep reminding her that it's what she and he WANT done that counts. If it's an unusual day of the week or a casual at-home wedding, that's what counts.
So for all you brides out there planning your big day, involve your groom and decide on what will make you both happy. Don't worry about disappointing your guests. They should be attending because they love you, not for freebies and elaborate hosting.
Some quick ideas on how to set your wedding apart (without breaking the budget):
• Make your own favors that represent your interests (and that can be used again by your guests. Think seed packets, coasters, bookmarks, or personalized pens.
• Buy fresh wildflowers from a local farmer's market or the supermarket and put them in bud vases for table centerpieces.
• In lieu of favors, make a donation to a charity close to your heart.
• Create your own flower arrangements using fresh flowers you've purchased or artificial flowers.
• Put out blank CDs for guests to take with them to burn photos from their digital cameras on. This is a great alternative to disposable table cameras. Your guests can burn the images to CD then send them back to you.
• Use items from previous family weddings such as a hankerchief, a ribbon from a prior wedding, a family pin or heirloom, cake topper.
• If money's really tight look for a reception location attached to your ceremony location (such as a fellowship hall) or book a reception location that will allow you to bring in an outside caterer. Some couples I've photographed have had potluck buffets or they've done a smaller food spread. Or consider doing an afternoon "tea" with appetizers, cake and drink instead of a whole big spread.
• When dress shopping, check out some discount dealers as well as well-established bridal boutiques. If there's a veil you like, consider making it yourself if you're handy. When I got married 7 years ago, I found a veil at David's Bridal that I LOVED (for $200), but couldn't afford. I took the same look and recreated it for $20.
• Help your bridesmaids out by allowing them to either choose their own dress, or having them purchase one they KNOW they'd be able to wear again. Same goes for groomsmen. If you're not tied to tuxedos, consider having the guys buy the same color shirts, ties and pants.
Whatever ways you choose to set your wedding apart, remember that it's not the money that matters... it's your marriage.
